Are you one of those always worrying and fretting over things in life and wondering “why do I worry so much?”Whether its a meeting in the office, call from customers,upcoming date,an exam,wedding,an interview,social gathering,performance review or a presentation or any such situation are you always feeling nervous and worrying about what all can go wrong? If yes, then the bad news is that its not a very good habit and the good news is that you are not alone and you can easily get rid of of this energy sucking habit.
I was in the same boat and often found myself wondering why do I worry so much? There was time when I used to worry literally about everything in life. Be a phone call, a meeting, new assignment, social gathering,a client presentation, negotiating deals and list goes on. I would always find something or other to worry about. It was as if I used to look for things to worry about. I would be worrying about something and when that something got over I would jump on to the next thing to worry about and then think “Why do I worry so much”.
Lets see few answers to your question “Why do I worry so much?”
It feels safe to worry : Though many of you may not realize this but for many people worrying feels safe. If they do not worry about a situation it indicates that they do not care about it and so the situation will not turn out the way they want it to be. On the other hand if they are worrying about the situation that shows that they are concerned about the situation and by worrying they are proving to others and more importantly to themselves that they really want it to turn out the way they desire.
Its a habit : Next time if you ask yourself “Why do I worry so much?” just look out if you think its just a habit. For many people its just a habit to worry. They do not know why in the world are they worrying. In fact most of the times they are not even aware that they are worrying unless someone points it to them or they just happen to catch themselves worrying.I myself was one of those people. I would catch myself worrying and then wonder why in the world am I am worrying. When I could not control my worrying I would just convince myself by saying that may be its just a habit and there is nothing much I could do about it.
Worrying is normal : Some justify worrying as being normal. They worry because any one in that situation would have worried. Again this clubs with the point before that worrying is just a habit which for some reason most of the people seem to have.Even though there might not be any logical reasoning to it still people keep on worrying.
I worry since childhood: Some blame the worry habit to childhood days. “I have this habit of worrying since childhood and it is what I am and I can’t help it”. While worrying is bad , I would give some score to worrying being a childhood habit. As a child we are not aware in most cases as to what we are doing is correct or not. If someone doesn’t points a child that worrying is not normal he/she would keep on worrying and won’t see it as something harmful. It is the responsibility of parents to make their children aware that worrying does no good.
Subconscious Learning: While many may not be aware of this but much of our worrying is subconscious and a perfect answer to the question “Why do I worry so much”. If we are in habit of worrying since childhood and continue to do so then this pattern of worrying gets imprinted in our subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind is what drives major part of our life. Our actions and reactions are primarily controlled by our subconscious mind. I have discussed about subconscious mind in great depth in the post subconscious mind power.
If you have been worrying since you were small or in your teens then your subconscious records the pattern of worrying. It remembers the incident which caused you to worry.When you are faced with a similar situation in future your subconscious mind recalls the earlier incident and your response to it. Since it has recorded that your response is that of worry to such situations it causes you to start worrying.
Subconscious mind is much more powerful than your conscious mind so if you are worrying and try to consciously control it your efforts will go in vain because you cannot override your subconscious mind in an instant. You then think “Why do I always worry?”or “I can’t stop worrying” or “Why do I worry so much?”. The reason you cant stop worrying is that you cannot beat your subconscious mind using your conscious mind.
Some tips to stop worrying
Worry does no good: You must have heard the phrase that “worry is like a funeral pyre”. Just like a funeral pyre burns the dead body , your worry slowly burns your mind,body and spirit. It does no good to you. While some amount of worry is needed because it might drive you to take action but if you worry so much that you can’t even take correct actions then you self sabotage your efforts. If you keep thinking that “Why do I worry so much?” or “How do I stop worrying” then realizing that worry won’t improve your situation can help you shift your mindset about the situation which causes you to worry.
Think it this way. You are worrying about something because you want it to happen in a way you like. But you also know that worrying won’t let it happen the best way you desire. So it is really no use worrying.
Worry robs you off your creativity: Another negative effect of worrying is that it saps you off your precious energy needed for creativity. While you are worrying about “something”, you are also loosing the energy needed to make that “something” happen in the best way possible. The more you worry , the more the chances are that you will not execute the thing you are worrying about in a perfect manner.
Find the root cause and solve it: If for some reason you are not able to stop worrying then find out the reason why you are worrying. Once you understand what is causing you to worry then if there is something you can do about it to solve it in that moment then do it instead of just saying “Why do I worry so much”. Once the problem is solved you can stop worrying.
If ,on the other hand, you cannot come up with a solution to the problem in that moment then just let it be. Accept whatever you think might happen and let it be. Stop worrying! Because you now know you cannot take any immediate steps to solve it so why worry about it. In fact in many cases its the worry which does’t allow the solution to come to you. You are so much focussed in worrying that you can’t think of anything else.
You will die one day : Ok! I know this sounds depressing but everyone has to die one day. Death is the only truth!. When you die all your worries will die with you as well. Knowing that you are going to transcend to the other realm one day or the other , it would be a little stupid to keep worrying about things unnecessarily. What’s the use of worrying when you are going to live only once. Why not enjoy life keeping your worries to a minimum. I say minimum because a little bit of worry is necessary to keep us focussed and taking action.
Worry and the law of attraction: Law of attraction states that “like attracts like”. Whatever you feel inside of you is what is manifesting around you. Visualization is one of the tools of law of attraction. While visualizing you imagine in your mind’s eyes your ideal life. You get into the feeling place of your desires fulfilled.
So what are you doing when you keep worrying and asking yourself “Why do I worry so much”. You are using visualization technique of law of attraction to attract in your life what you don’t want. Worry means that your are thinking something you don’t want and putting emotional energy into it i.e. feeling it. This attracts the very thing you don’t want to manifest. You are using law of attraction to attract what you don’t want, so stop worrying!
Using mindfulness to stop worrying: Mindfulness is a technique where you completely and fully become aware and focussed at the task at hand. You are not trying to multi task. You are not thinking about things apart from what it is that you are doing currently. This is a conscious activity and requires some effort. But when you completely focus in the present you are blocking your mind from useless thoughts which cause you to worry.
You can be mindful when you are idle and not doing anything. You can focus on your breathing. Feel the air as it passes through your nose and then into your lungs. Feels the abdomen expanding as you inhale and contracting as you exhale. Become aware of the surrounding. The sound of the air conditioner. The dog barking outside and the birds chirping. You can plug in your earphones and listen to soothing sounds such as that of raindrops and gentle thunder. Search youtube videos for soothing meditation sounds. You will tons of free videos.The aim of mindfulness is to stop the worrisome thoughts from entering your mind.
Energy Techniques: There are many energy techniques you can advantage of to get instant relief from worry. The most famous among them is EFT(Emotional Freedom Technique) and Sedona Method. My personal favourite is EFT but sedona method works very efficiently as well. You can find a lot of information on the web and youtube regarding these methods.
EFT is based on tapping certain energy points in the body while repeating the phrases which causes you to worry. This act balances your body’s energy around the worrisome situation giving you instant relief from worry. Sedona method on the other hand is asking few questions to yourself around specific feeling and then letting go of that feeling. While I would love to discuss these methods in detail but this would deviate the purpose of this post. I would suggest you to hop over to youtube and do quick search for EFT and Sedona method to get more practical example.
To summarize, worrying is not a healthy activity and should be avoided to whatever extent possible. Little worries about finances, health and relationships are good to pump adrenalin in your body to drive you into action and avoid what is not helpful but you should not become a chronic worrier.
Still wondering “Why do I worry so much”?. Post your questions in the comments section and lets see if we can help.